A note: this post got so long I'm going to have to break it in two. If you know anything about astrology it may be of interest. But I'm starting to know enough to get technical, so if you aren't interested, you may want to skip this post and just wait for the next one.
This post is more the technical, Here's what I discovered, and the next one is, And here's what that means.
So, if you've stopped by here on any occasion, you know that, in addition to extensive reading about ACoA issues, relationships, and all manner of adult relationship problems stemming from wounding by abusive parenting in childhood, I have also used astrology to help me figure out the issues surrounding this affair situation. It certainly helped point out to me, my own childhood wounding issues I wasn't even aware of.
Of course, one is drawn to the predictive branch of astrology, the claim made by the discipline to be able to forecast future events. I have already accurately done this three times, and I'm just a student; so of course that whets my appetite to discover: How does this actually turn out?
Almost three years ago, when all this started, I was quite the starry-eyed ingenue. I knew Chi was my Second Guy On The White Horse, and I wanted it to end Happily Ever After. (With him taking care of me in these and those ways, and me taking care of him in those and these ways. Let's hear it! "I love you, you love me, stuck in codependency!")
I would have been utterly heartbroken forever and ever more if it didn't turn out that way. In fact, that was how I got onto the astrology in the first place--tripping over the transits that showed him coming back, then leaving, then coming back again, and us having a HORRIBLE life. ("Aauugh! No! NO!")
I'm proud to be able to say now that no matter how Chi ends up choosing to structure his life: If he is wholly and truly at peace with it, I am wholly and truly at peace with it.
Even if it means I never see him again.
Which doesn't mean I'm still not curious whether or not this guy is ever going to be happy, with anyone. Or in just giving up on the marriage and staying in the family for the kids and grandkids and just making his peace with it for real (because he sure isn't now.) I'd hate to think he's just going to be miserable forever. Is there any way he's ever going to avert that miserable fate?
Turns out there is, and for those who know anything about relationships and solving relationship problems, it should come as no surprise: Both people need to be emotionally healthy. Or, at least, emotionally healthy enough to work honestly together in good faith. Or, if giving up on a marriage and just accepting it the way it is for the rest of his life, a person has to be emotionally healthy enough to actually make and accept that compromise.
So the real question is, Can this person ever achieve livable emotional health?
So, here, I putter around the charts hunting for that.
I mean, look at this. Chi is nearing sixty, and he's been hideously, hideously codependent his whole entire LIFE. We won't even mention the inhumanly low self-esteem issue.
What are the chances--?
In predictive astrology, the rules go as follows: You have to evaluate "natal promise" in the chart. If the chart you were born with does not contain the potential for you to be, do, or have something, it's not gonna happen, no matter what transits or progressions you get to that chart.
Then comes "progressions." In "progressions," a planet moves so many degrees for each year of your life. There are different systems for deciding how fast the planets move. Most of them give you essentially the same thing, except for slow-moving planets like Uranus and Pluto. Some astrologers prefer the use of "secondary progressions" for these, and some prefer a method known as "solar arc."
I, however, digress. Progressions are said to reflect (NOT determine!) changes that are happening within the psyche of the person. Then there are your transits, that is, where planets are now compared to where they are in the chart you were born under. Transits are said to reflect events from an outside source. (Again, reflect, not determine.)
In order for an event to occur, you need at the very least the natal promise for it, AND a strongly impacted progression. (Which makes sense, if you think about it. If you have no acting talent you will never be a movie star, and if you don't have the desire to do so you most likely never will, either.) In the majority of cases, you need a transit as well--at least one outside event, to make the natal promise happen. (If you don't get discovered by an agent, or make yourself known in a modeling career first, or get that first big part, your career on the big screen won't happen.) Makes sense, right?
So now, I'm combing through Chi's chart. At the ripe old age of almost sixty, critically ill with the DISEASE of codependency his whole entire life, is there any natal promise whatsoever, combined with the inner readiness and some outer event, that will push this guy to a.) WORK FOR, and b.) ACHIEVE, wellness??
I've known the relevant transits for a long time. Those are pretty easy to get...you can buy a report of those, whether you have any clue how it was calculated or why. I've had those in my possession for a while now.
The transits are there for both hard work, great personal growth, and VERY good progress...and for, um, avoiding hard work, zero personal growth, no progress at all, and utter, utter DISASTER in his next relationship, whoever it's with. Unfortunately, reflected in my charts and in Rory's, that utter disaster appears to be with ME, and it appears to begin...oh, in another month or so?
THAT is fucking SCARY.
Especially since EVERYTHING in the transits, from November 2014 right up to October of this year, HAS COME TRUE ALREADY. In my chart, in Chi's chart, and in Rory's.
(Did I ever tell you I predicted the date of Simon's death using astrology? I was one week off.)
Well...nice to see those good ones, but how the fuck do we get those and not the disaster?? I've been wondering that for ages now, and that was why I started learning on my own. I want to understand this stuff for myself.
I learned enough to figure out how to do progressions. In doing predictive astrology, you start there, since any natal promise in the chart not being activated by a progression is likely to be dormant for the period of time you are looking at. So: What in his progressions holds any promise at all for actual progress recovering from codependency and low self-worth?
Right now he has the Sun on his natal Saturn, which is of note because his natal Saturn forms the following, which sounds just like Chi:
"Saturn Aspects
Saturn rules our conditioning or the way we were taught and brought up in the world. It is associated with restriction and limitation, but with this it brings structure and meaning to the world and our lives. It reminds us of our boundaries, responsibilities and commitments. It is often associated with a father or authority figures. Saturn's lessons actually help us to grow. In your chart the position of Saturn reveals your limitations, fears and sense of responsibility.
Saturn Opposition Midheaven
This can be a difficult placement, indicating that you feel so lonely and so different from others that it is hard to relate to them. Also you may sometimes feel that there is nothing inside you, that if others could look at you they would see only emptiness. This belief is not based on fact, but it can seem very real when you are feeling unhappy. It indicates that you need a great deal of emotional support from your family. Your mother, especially, and possibly your father as well, may demand a great deal and expect you to live up to very high standards, without giving you very much emotional reinforcement. Even if they do support you, you will not feel the helpful effects as much as others would. One possible effect of this placement is that you will be very active socially, almost as if you could not stand to be by yourself, even though you feel alone when you are with others as well. This is an especially likely effect if your chart has many planets above the horizon. You are trying to escape from your sense of inadequacy through others. However, the only way that you can conquer this feeling is by going inside, confronting yourself and accepting what you are. You prefer to keep your immediate personal surroundings - your room, and, later on, your home - neat, with as few obstacles as possible. Others may think that your tastes are rather stark and ascetic, but you prefer not to have to contend with any more material possessions than necessary.Fortunately, anything Saturn can go much, much better with dedication and hard work. All my difficult Saturn aspects have become much better with therapy and the kind of research and thinking I am doing here, and this one is weaker than all of mine, so I have to take this as an indicator that with the right work, progress can be made. The Sun here tends to reflect, from what I've read, a desire to work and manifest results.
Natal promise and a good progression! Whew!
Another one:
Moon opposite Uranus in the natal chart gives an exciting but unstable home and family life. These and other unusual domestic conditions are outward manifestations of your highly strung and erratic emotional life.
Regardless of what your conscious intent may be, your feelings and reactions control the direction of your life. This is especially so for your close relationships. Your intimate relationships are where this aspect is most noticeable.
Uranus creates emotional distance which makes it difficult to form close bonds with other people. This detachment will cause, or is caused by, your strongly independent and freedom loving nature.
One of your parents, usually your mother, may have reinforced this inborn independent streak. Depending on other aspects and fixed stars, Uranus in your childhood could manifest as a scientific, astrologer, angry, abusive, crazy or absent parent. Whether a good or bad example, they influenced how you relate to people at the emotional level.
An inability to make meaningful and stable relationships is common while you remain unaware of the erratic impact Uranus (please note: Uranus here is a SYMBOL for something, not the actual determinant of the situation. In my opinion, Uranus here symbolizes codependency and low self esteem.) has on your subconscious feelings and reactions. Emotional turmoil, dramatic change and unexpected events can affect your home, family and close relationships.
The key to reducing the unsettling impact of this aspect on your private life is to gain conscious awareness. Massive breakthroughs and personal growth can come through astrology, psychology and medicine.
To enjoy more stability and control over your emotions and reactions, you want to slow down and calm down. The aim is to quieten your impulsive, erratic and unexplainable emotional reactions.
Like so much in your life, compromise is needed to find the right balance between boredom and excitement. You cannot be the mad genius and the caring emotional partner at the same time.
I ask you, does that sound familiar or not? Fortunately, this one apparently responds well to, *ahem*, active WORK in therapy. Two progressions are activating this one: a Jupiter square and a direct hit by Chiron, the wounded healer. Look that up in Greek mythology. This is where "Chi" gets his pseudonym.
Computed by the solar arc method, Chi's North Node (signifying the goals the soul has for this lifetime) is sitting right on Saturn--seems significant to me--putting the solar arc nodal axis right on top of the MC/IC axis. That's a big activation of the natal promise to make some progress, here. And...well, will you look at this? Solar arc Saturn is sitting right on the natal Moon, activating the above Moon opp Uranus, which describes a lot of Chi's issues and good natal promise of making some progress with them. Saturn reflects that a lot of restrictions, trouble, and delay will happen, but if you work with them you can get some major things accomplished.
And, oh, look at this: Solar arc Mercury sitting on Saturn. This also activates Saturn opp Midheaven, reflecting heavy and often depressing thinking that seems to be needed around some serious and challenging mental work. But serious discussion, thinking, and goal-setting can lead to useful outcomes.
So, it would appear that Chi's got the transits, the progressions, and the natal promise to do some good, hard, lasting work on codependency, ACoA issues, and low self-worth THIS YEAR COMING UP.
And let us not forget: Chi has Pluto in 12. Pluto is the planet of deep, scary transformations that require us to confront the deep things we're afraid of. House 12 is the hidden house, the house of self-undoing. Any planet found in 12 will find its influence challenged in the person's life. So, Chi is going to have a very difficult time going within and making changes to parts of himself and influences in his life. However, those with Pluto in 12, should they make that transformation, can end up very deeply wise in the area they initially had difficulties with, and the chart DOES confer the ability to do this if the person will knuckle down and WORK. House 12 is the house of the subconscious, so with Pluto here there's definite potential to heal.
Thank fuck.
I was really beginning to worry.
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