Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Welcome to "All Too Easy"

If you’re reading this, chances are you have become, or are considering becoming, one of us, um… Undesirable Third Parties. The harlots…the Jezebels…the Other Women. If you’re married, feel free to throw eggs. 

But y’all might want to listen to me first. If you are considering your first tentative step into “harlotry,” I’m going to give you some advice on exactly why this particular road to happiness, which is looking SO easy to you right now, might not turn out that way.

And if you’ve just found out your husband is, pardon the phrase, “screwing around,” I’m here to give you the Cliff’s Notes on how to keep your husband.

So, you might not want to throw eggs just yet.

But, first, can I say a few words about our current political situation?

We have an election in two weeks, of which everyone, I’m sure, is totally sick of being reminded. But I’ve noticed something curious.

I was among a group of women at the hairdresser’s this week, and the conversation turned to whom everyone was going to vote for. And everyone said she would NEVER vote for Hillary Clinton, because she should have divorced her husband!


In Family Values America, where conservatives value Marriage Above All, why is it that each and every time a woman in public life finds she’s been cheated on, all scorn is heaped upon her if she doesn’t dump the dude? Look at the Anthony Weiner scandal. How many people thought she should have dumped him long before? Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley…you get the idea.

And yet. When it emerged, as I’m sure it eventually did, that the second love of MY life had at least considered carnal relations with me, what was the consensus? There would have been such a great hue and cry if that marriage broke up that it scared him right back into it. Despite some wifely behavior I really need to give some of you ladies the Cliff’s Notes on, and which, as it often happens, no one knew about.

Think about it. You find out your dad has a lady on the side. What’s your first reaction? "Dump her and get your ass right back to MY MOM!" The neighbors you have known and loved for years suddenly split up. It emerges that there is a third party. How do you feel? Shocked and aggrieved. When you and your hubby sniped over the housework every weekend, these were the marriages that looked so good. The ones that gave you faith that somewhere, for someone, it really does work out happily ever after. Maybe you even introduced these people, or it’s your sister and her husband. Maybe your kids have played happily together for years. And now little Johnny’s over at your house crying because his dad moved out last weekend. 

Why is it that people all but demand that, if you know and like the couple, they should stay together and repair their marriage, perhaps even “in the eyes of God,” but when Hillary Clinton does the same thing, you don’t want to vote for her because she should have left the guy?

Wouldn’t you want to keep your husband if it happened to you?

Isn’t that why you’re reading this?

More later. Welcome to the blog.